Here are some web links and a list of recommended reading that we hope will be helpful to you!
 

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla - Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World   
by Marguerite A. Wright
This fascinating book should be read by everyone adopting or foster parenting a black or biracial child, and by extended family members and teachers as well. Its thorough explanation of how children of various ages perceive color and race has been very helpful to me as a white mom raising black children. The book is well-researched and replete with case studies and illustrations. Dr. Wright clearly and sensitively explains how to reduce racism’s impact on a child’s development. Although it is not written from a Christian perspective, the book seems supportive of Christian values. However, there is a section on corporal punishment that you will need to carefully evaluate. Although I didn’t agree with all of the conclusions drawn, it helped me have a better understanding of punishment in black culture. Dr. Wright specifically discusses issues involved in interracial adoption and foster parenting.

In Their Own Way - Accepting Your Children for Who They Are
by Karen & Jeffry R. Zurheide
As adoptive parents we have expectations for our children and imagine how wonderful life will be when they come home. Reality is often much different, however, and our children surprise us with physical, emotional, mental or behavioral issues we had never dreamed of. This thoughtful book offers practical and spiritual help for parents who are raising children who are not “perfect” due to health problems, handicaps, or behavioral problems. The Zurheides deal gracefully and encouragingly with the intense feelings of sadness, embarrassment, anger and guilt we parents feel when our children aren’t what we had expected. They firmly ground their description of parenting in deep Christian faith. Unlike many books that offer techniques and strategies to assist parents in helping their children, this book offers us a way to live on in the midst of it all, whether or not things get better for our children. The authors offer us God’s grace.

Our Treasured Heritage-A Recipe Collection for Adoptive Families and Friends
Compiled by Terri Bade
We know it’s important to help our adopted children have links to their past. Food is often a very important issue to adopted children. This huge cookbook can help connect your child with the tastes and smells of his heritage.  The cookbook features delicious, easy to prepare recipes from twenty of the countries from which Americans most frequently adopt. There are also recipes from each of the fifty states for domestic adoptees.
Countries included are Belarus, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Chile, China, Columbia, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Haiti, India, Kazakhstan, Mexico, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Romania, Russia, Sierra Leone, South Korea, Thailand, Ukraine and the United States.
Also included is a full page colorful flag of each country and fascinating statistics.

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
by Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky
Many of us with children by birth and adoption think we’ve got parenting under control until a high needs adopted child comes into our lives! Adopted children arrive with a past, and far too often that past involves hurts and pain that will have a large impact on the adoptive family’s life. I personally have found this book very helpful. It addresses several issues:
 - understanding the attachment cycle
 - parenting techniques doomed to failure
 - dealing with school issues
 - discovering help from a variety of resources
 - claiming your role in your child’s life 
 - nurturing the hurt child
 - surviving when it feels like nothing works
 - connecting with the right therapist
This is a very practical book with techniques families can use immediately. Additionally it helps parents gain a new perspective on why their children act as they do, and provides hope that there are healthy ways of dealing with challenges.

Parenting with Love and Logic 
by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
When your children first join your home, you won’t know the keys to their hearts. But you WILL need to deal with behavior and the choices that your children make from the moment they enter your home. How do you discipline your child without using your anger to motivate them? Psychiatrist Cline and educator Fay’s “Love and Logic” parenting method advocates raising responsible children through practice. After laying out the principles of “Love and Logic,” the authors provide “parenting pearls,” which are strategies for applying the method to actual situations such as bossiness, boundary breaking, back-seat battles in the car, homework, and keeping bedrooms clean.

Parenting with Scripture - A Guide for Teachable Moments
by Kara Durbin
It’s inevitable that children from toddlers to teens will misbehave. Kara Durbin’s passion is for parents to capture those teachable moments and use Scripture to shape their children’s behavior. She offers this unique topical guide to prepare parents with scriptural teaching and helpful activities on 100 specific behaviors. Personally, I have found the definitions contained in the book to be very helpful in explaining feelings and biblical concepts to our 13 year old daughter. How will you explain “sorrow” or “remorse” to your child? This book supplies solid answers.

Parenting Your Adopted Older Child  
by Brenda McCreight
Have you ever felt like you simply don’t like your adopted child? The chapter in this book on the “oops” response is worth the price of the book! You will know you aren’t the only one struggling with this emotion and gain wisdom in dealing with it.
Although not written from a specifically Christian standpoint, this book provides parents of children adopted over age two with information and tools to overcome difficulties and develop a healthy, loving relationship with their child.
Topics covered include attachment, loss and grief, aggressive or sexually intrusive behaviors, attention deficit disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome, family identity formation, cross-cultural and trans racial adoption, open adoption, and other important issues. Written in an easy-to-read format, each topic is illustrated with stories of families dealing with the challenge.

Power of a Praying Parent  
by Stormie Omartian
There are times when you cannot communicate easily with your children, or times when their behaviors or beliefs can be confusing to you. What can you do? You can pray. This book offers a wonderful collection of scriptural prayers that you can pray boldly for your children. Remind God and ourselves of the promises He has made. After decades of raising her own children along with her husband, Stormie looks back at the trials and joys of parenting and the power found in praying for her kids. Now adults, Stormie’s grown-up children reflect on the way their praying parents raised them—and what a difference it made.

Five Love Languages of Children  
by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
As your adopted child joins your family, he will desperately need to know how much you love him. But you have just met him, and since you don’t know him well, you might not make the emotional connection he needs. Every child expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles. Find out what “love language” your new child speaks. If your love language is different from your child’s, this book will help you to translate – fast. Discover how to express unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in their souls – and inspire them for the rest of their lives.

The Post-Adoption Blues - Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption 
by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson
Many adoptive parents are stunned to find themselves feeling blue and even depressed after their children arrive home. Drawing on their own experience as adoptive parents as well as interviews with dozens of adoptive families and experts in the field, Drs. Foli and Thompson offer parents the understanding, support and concrete solutions they need to overcome the post-adoption blues. Although this book is not written from a Christian perspective, it offers invaluable help to newly adoptive parents.

The Whole Life Adoption Book - Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family 
by Jayne Schooler
Providing a very good overview of the issues that adoptive families typically face, this book is practical, understandable and down-to-earth. Many of the questions in our Adoption Assessment Guide have references to parts of this book. Covering the early stages of an adoptive family relationship as well as issues adoptees face in adolescence and young adulthood, the book sensitively addresses common challenges.

When Love is Not Enough - A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder 
by Nancy L. Thomas
In all probability, you will not know all of the details of your child’s history. You will not know how damaged her ‘trust’ muscle is, because of grief, loss, abandonment, neglect, or abuse. Even though your child may not have RAD, or ADD, or ADHD, she WILL be struggling with new surroundings, new culture, and new expectations. As your adopted child joins your family, it becomes imperative that you work pro-actively to form positive bonds of attachment with her. This guidebook gives clear instruction on how to establish respect, create heart to heart connections, how to guide the processing of feelings, and how to care for her as she sets new roots in your home.

Children Affected by HIV/AIDS Compassionate Care  
by Phyllis Kilbourn
Phyllis Kilbourn and others tackle the very difficult issues surrounding the problems of children who are affected by the loss of parents or crucial caregivers due to AIDS. Kilbourn also recommends actions for caregivers when their faith and energy are tested by circumstance.

Adoption as a Ministry, Adoption as a Blessing  
by Michelle Gardner
Of all the pictures the Lord uses to describe His relationship with believers, that of a loving father to adopted children is perhaps the most tender. As the body of Christ observes families who have lovingly welcomed adopted children into their midst, we gain a greater appreciation of our own adoption into the family of God.  Exploring what Scripture says about adoption and the value of children, Michelle demonstrates that adoption can be God’s first choice for some lives. Weaving her own children’s heartwarming adoption stories throughout the book, Michelle presents a new challenge for believers to do something drastic for a child.  The book explores:
 - what the Bible says about ministering to children who need families
 - how the church can minister to adoptive families
 - feelings of a reluctant parent
 - reactions of her birth children to adoption
  and numerous other topics
If you are touched by adoption in any way, this book will give you a new perspective on the Biblical significance of this unique relationship.

After the Dream Comes True  
by Michelle Gardner
We’ve heard reports from many who have read this book that it was exactly the support they needed as they dealt with unexpected emotions after adopting. The arrival of a new child or children can shake up the most well-adjusted family.  Our goal for this book is to help Christian families through the first year as adoptive parents. The first days and months often stretch families in ways they weren’t expecting. Using Scripture and stories of her own adopted children, Michelle helps families anticipate these challenges and gives them tools to help them cope.  Chapters include:
 - Emotions that might surprise you
 - Why you got involved with adoption
 - First days at home
 - Setting boundaries and establishing routines
 - Birthparent issues
 - Spiritual issues
 - If the dream turns into a nightmare
 - Ready to adopt again?
As families lovingly and obediently welcome adopted children into their hearts and homes, there are many issues with which they need to deal. This book helps families consider these issues from a Scriptural perspective and challenges families to see adoption as an opportunity to learn to trust and obey.

Fields of the Fatherless  
by C. Thomas Davis
With compassion and insight, this book shows you how to reach out to the fatherless, a special group of people who are most in need, and who the Bible reveals are most on God’s heart. This is a very compelling, heart-stirring book.

E is for Ethiopia  
by Lori Prodan and Keith Holmes
“E is for Ethiopia” is a rhyming alphabet book that will appeal to both children and adults. With thirty-two pages of full color photographs, this book is a unique journey through Ethiopian life and culture. It is a perfect introduction for someone learning about Ethiopia for the first time, or a beautiful book for those familiar with this great land.

Sunburned Faces  
by Jeneil Palmer Russell
Sunburned Faces is the true story of a young woman who travels to Ethiopia to work as a medical volunteer in a city orphanage. Thrust into a new and strange world, she finds that the only firm foundation to stand upon is her faith in God. As she is touched by the women and children she cares for, she begins to learn the true meaning of giving. Through unimaginable experiences of sickness and suffering, joy and laughter, God shows her His great faithfulness.

There is No Me Without You 
by Melissa Fay Greene
In this powerful and highly acclaimed book, award-winning journalist Melissa Fay Greene tells the story of Haregewoin Teferra, a middle-class Ethiopian woman who found herself at the heart of a global health crisis. After the loss of her husband and daughter, Teferra reluctantly agreed to take in two of Addis Ababa’s thousands of AIDS orphans, and soon children of all ages began to appear at the door of her tin-walled compound. “There is No Me Without You” is the story of how Teferra transformed her home into an orphanage and began facilitating adoptions to homes all over the world. At heart, it is a book about children and parents, wherever they may be, however they may find each other.

Learning the Dance of Attachment 
by Holly VanGulden
This is a hard book to find but it's a 'must have' in every adopted parents' library.  It is such an easy read and quite a short book...but it explains the steps of attachment and then gives examples of a child missing one of those stages. For example, many adopted children don't have permanence nor constancy. At the end of each chapter there is a chart of the behaviors/symptoms of a child with that issue the chapter covers, examples of reactions parents shouldn't have, reactions they should have and games to play with the child to help them develop the issues they're struggling with.  (To order Learning the Dance of Attachment, call 715-386-5550, e-mail wisconsinoffice@crossroadsadoption.com)

Before You Were Mine 
by Susan TeBos and Carissa Woodwyk
This book offers a Biblical perspective on writing your child's lifebook.  It's not just a "why you should do this" book but a "how to" book as well....and on top of that it helps you weave Biblical truths into your child's story...because after all, GOD is the one who weaves the story and He is the One who has grafted this child into our family just like He grafts us into His family. 

I Love You Through and Through
by Bernadette Rossetti-Shustak
This is a child's board book...but SO highly recommended for anyone adopting. This book really helps a child understand you love them - all of them. Each page has 1 sentence about what a parent loves about their child...I love your happy side...I love your sad side...I love your silly side...I love your mad side...I love your hair...I love your eyes... This can really helped an adopted child to understand they are loved at ALL times!

I Wished for You - An Adoption Story
by Marianne Richmond
Beautiful watercolor illustrations go along with a sweet story about a Mama Bear who waited, prayed and wished for her baby bear. The baby bear asks mama lots of questions that young adopted children have... and you'll love how Mama Bear answers the questions.  

The following books can be ordered from Tapestry Books.com

Parenting Your Adopted Child: A Positive Approach to Building a Strong Family
by Andrew Adesman and Christine Adamec
Parents of adopted children face unique challenges in addition to all the regular problems other families face.  How much information about the adoption should you share with your family?  Your neighbors?  When should you start explaining adoption to your child and how?  Grounded in a positive approach, this book provides helpful tools that enable you to understand and counter common myths about adoption that may be harmful to your child.

Parenting The Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky
Some adoptees come to their new homes with hurts from the past that can affect an entire family.  With time, patience and informed parenting, your adopted child can heal, grow and develop beyond what seems possible now.  This book explains how to raise your child with loving wisdom, resolve and success, while preserving your stability and sanity.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge
This remarkable book offers an unparalleled window into the heart of the adopted child, giving voice to feelings that are often too difficult to express.  It also speaks to the unspoken concerns at the heart of every adoptive family, offering practical advice for addressing past issues, handling current crises and ensuring a long, loving future for you and your children.  This excellent guide to communicating constructively about feelings of insecurity, anxiety and curiosity gives voice to children's unspoken concerns and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment and shame.

Raising Adopted Children
by Lois Ruskai Melina
Drawing from child development, psychology, sociology, medicine and also the experiences of adoptive parents, this book examines the child's physical, emotional and psychological development at every age.  In addition, there are chapters on special topics such as the multiracial family, serious behavioral problems and single parent adoption. 

Happy Adoption Day
by John McCutcheon (for ages 2-6)
Pull out the party hats and streamers to celebrate a very special day - the wonderful day when a child joins an adoptive family.  This bright, cheerful book shows the joy and love of new parents as they watch their child grow and as they mark each year with a HAPPY ADOPTION DAY celebration.

All About Adoption
by Marc Nemiroff (for ages 4-12)
For children adopted at any age and from any country, this book explores the what, how and why of adoption, as well as the many feelings kids can experience as they grow up.

Horace
by Holly Keller (for ages 2-8)
Horace is unhappy - his family is striped but he is spotted.  So off he goes to find a family that looks more like he does.  Though he enjoys playing with them, he soon realizes that being a family has nothing to do with the pattern of your skin.

The Mulberry Bird
by Anne Braff Brodzinsky (for ages 4-12)
This is an enchanting story about a mother bird who decides to place her baby bird for adoption.  It explains why a birthmother might consider an adoption plan for her child.  The use of birds instead of people helps to present the subject matter in a nonthreatening manner.

Inside Transracial Adoption
by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall
Using a careful blend of academic research, social reality and personal experience, this book provides creative, confident, proactive and provocative guidance both for prospective parents who are considering transracial adoption for the first time and also for those who are experienced veterans.  It offers direction for building close, loving and very real families consisting of individuals who are proud and culturally competent members of differing races.

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting The Adopted Child
by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb
This book offers insight into how adopted children commonly think and feel about being adopted.  It explains why, and in what way, adopted children grieve for their birth parents and suggests ways that adoptive parents can help them to come to a healthy resolution of this grief.  It offers confidence and assurance, as well as sought-after answers to lifelong questions.

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child
by Patty Cogen
The author, a therapist who counsels adopted children and their families, explains how to help a child adopted between the ages of six months and five years cope with the challenge of the Big Change, bond with his or her new parents, become a part of the family and develop a positive self-image that incorporates both American identity and ethnic origins.  Parents will appreciate advice about preparing for the trip and handling the first meeting.

Talking With Young Children About Adoption
by Mary Watkins
In this wise and sympathetic book, the author discusses how young children make sense of the fact of their adoption, how it might appear in their play and what worries they and their parents may have.  Accounts by twenty adoptive parents of conversations about adoption with their children, from ages two to ten, graphically convey what the process of sharing about adoption is like.

Telling The Truth To Your Adopted Or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past
by Betsy Keefer and Jayne Schooler
After becoming aware that he or she is adopted, the child will question the details of the adoption.  The truth may reveal details that are painful and sometimes traumatic.  The authors demonstrate that even in the most difficult situations, parents must not withhold or distort information from the past.  Though sometimes including difficult truths, communication between parent and child can help a child grow up into an emotionally and psychologically healthy adult.

What Size Shoes Does She Wear?  Adopting a Toddler
by Denise Harris Hoppenhauer
This book is an indispensable guide to the wonderful world of toddler adoption. Filled with essential parenting information, Adopting a Toddler answers many questions that parents ask, including questions about changing a name, choosing a crib versus a bed, beginning potty training, and what size shoes to buy.

Transracial Adoption: Children & Parents Speak
by Constance Pohl and Kathy Harris<br /</